I am amazed by how many people still have very little idea what Alzheimer’s and dementia is and does to people . How it makes a person feel and behave .
Too many people do not understand that you can and will sleep a lot of the time and it gets worse as time goes on .
Some people will be angry and fight against whoever might be there. What you might not understand is, they aren’t striking out at you so much as they are striking out at the disease . We are fighting something that cannot be seen or heard so lash out at whoever is there.
There are some who seem fine yet may start crying over little or nothing, or they may laugh the same way . They are sometimes easily frightened.
Vision will be strange and unsettling sometimes and that will get worse. For example: for me there are times where there seems to be a haze, fog or smoke between me and the rest of the world . And sometimes it is more like looking through a pane of glass that cannot be easily seen through . Like the older ones.
Sounds can also be a problem . I have a good deal of hearing loss yet there have been times when I need to cover my ears because the sounds are so loud and startling and often confusing . I may not even be able to understand my own language .
I no longer feel comfortable leaving my house and have found that I am more comfortable there. So now I am in a Rehabilitation facility after first breaking both legs and feet, then getting sick . It should not have been a surprise when one day I was feeling pretty foggy that suddenly I had no idea where I was.
Confused I told a woman what I was feeling and she patiently explained. Later, still feeling foggy but a little better I tried to explain to the nurse who told me that it was just the medication . When I tried to explain about the Alzheimer’s she said usually it was the medication that did it .
When I get foggy or confused or cannot understand what is going on or being said or am sleepy I am told the same thing despite my telling them repeatedly this all happened to me before I fell.
I am exhausted . I’m fighting a battle with Alzheimer’s and unlike when I was at home I am unable to do what I use to so I could at least rest . I was told sleep and rest helps the body but it freaks them out .
So Alzheimer’s is still not understood even by the people who you might think should be, or at least would be and it should be. I realize this is a rehabilitation facility and that they expect one to get better so they can leave and live life like everyone else, but it doesn’t happen with everyone . It won’t be happening with me .
When I leave for home that will be where I will be for a long time. I have a brittle bone disease so the bones will take longer to heal. Factor in the Alzheimer’s and well you get the idea .
Right now this is the best way I can explain things . Maybe later I can explain more than I have.
There are many different ways we can see the world and honesty there are many days all I want to do is hide from the world .
There are a few things that I need to add here , I have started having trembling in my hands which can be troublesome when I am trying to crochet or write on draw . So far they aren’t too bad just a little scary .
I am fighting so hard and I am not sure what I am even fighting but I don’t think I will win the battle . In fact , I am positive that I will lose . I am just trying to get the most important things written when I can . I apologize if sometimes things don’t make sense , but remember , not a lot makes much sense to me . And less every day .
Sometimes I slip into a state where I am not awake yet I am not asleep either . I mean , I close my eyes and almost reach sleep yet am still fully aware of everything around me . I cannot go deeper into sleep yet cannot seem to wake up either . When someone finally gets me awake I feel nausea and even more tired and usually vomit (sorry for this I can’t find a way to say that other than directly ). Afterwards I usually fall asleep for several hours and feel fine after that . I have no idea what this means or what it may or may not mean concerning Alzheimer’s, but thought I’d share it with you just in case anyone else may experience this .
I’m very tired and sorry for my long absence . I will try to make time for writing more soon .
God bless you and HUGS