What do I do? Never give up!
Monday, June 19, 2017
Ron wants to take a trip like we did several years ago. When I could walk a little, and more when using a walker. Yes, I used the wheelchair some, but I could get around if I had to especially in tight, or confined places.
This time, there will be no use of a walker, I can’t use one, though Adrian keeps insisting that with just a little exercise I would be able to use first the walker, then not need it. But that would mean that too many things simply were not wrong with me. That either I was imagining it all, making it up for attention, or that the doctors and all those tests they ran on me were wrong. Considering I have been on the Alzheimer’s meds for almost 10 years, I think that is highly unlikely, but some people still believe the moon walk never happened and the holocaust was a made up story to start a war.
What people don’t understand is, just because you don’t believe something happened, something big, doesn’t mean it never happened. Like when you say, “I don’t believe in God.” Funny thing about that, he believes in you.
It seriously is amazing some of the things people will and will not believe. For the most part it doesn’t make sense. People will often believe the most outlandish things and then turn right around and deny that something far simpler is true.
Live is a one way street with many paths branching off but none of them going back. The harder you try to turn around and go back the more narrow the road will became until you are stuck. You have to give in and keep moving forward, regardless how frightened you are, or how tired you are or how much pain, physically and emotionally, you might be in. Regardless what you suffer. You have to keep moving forward.
I began this somewhere. Some thought or idea desired to be written, noticed. Words are like that. Spirit is like that.
I may never be able to do many of the things I could once do, like walk, make dinner, clean up the house, dress nicely in so many of the beautiful outfits and dresses I have, but by accepting the idea that I must move forward while still losing so much of myself, I am actually gaining. Gathering more to me. You see how this works? As long as you never give up, you gain more and more with every day that passes. Not lose. You only lose when you give up.
Wealth does not come from where you think it does, that is if you believe that money is everything and that having it is all important. That way never leads you to true happiness. Oh, I know there are people out there who claim that it does. But you see, nothing, absolutely nothing, lasts forever.
People hang on so tightly to life, they actually squeeze the life right out of it. They destroy any enjoyment they could have had.
They work, they fill every moment of their days with as much as they can because they are terrified of the calm, quite the days have to offer. Problems wrap themselves around them like a swaddling cloth. They are so frightened of death, they are not living their lives. They are afraid of not having so they hoard, work until they are run nearly into the ground. Then they ask, “is this all there is to life?”
Add to this picture all those people who scrimp and save, struggle every day of their lives simply to survive just one more day. The interesting thing is, these people tend to see, hear, and feel more than those who have more and a seemingly better life. They are, in a strange way happier, freer, and so much closer to what so many are looking for, but don’t realize is right there for everyone to have.
If you think I am making very little sense, I am sorry only that you may be misunderstanding something. Some of this is difficult to write so late at night and really I should have gone to bed. For some reason, I am tired, but cannot sleep at the moment. I imagine something needs to be written, completed or at least begun to be finished later in due time.