Rock bottom


Rock bottom

Monday, May 6, 2019
6:14 AM

Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can appreciate some of the things in your life, maybe even appreciate life. And rock bottom isn’t fun. Still, maybe more people who have too much and still don’t appreciate what they have should hit it. Maybe everyone should at least once in their life.

Is this a cruel thought? I would rather believe it a very important lesson, a valuable one that often the people who need it the most don’t get. And sometimes the people who do get this “gift” don’t see it for what it is. Instead they want to see it as something harsh and even life ending instead of life altering.

Rock bottom. I am beginning to think most people don’t appreciate life let alone the things if brings to them including the lessons, especially the hard ones.

Sometimes when times get difficult it would be a good idea to take a breath then look around at the world. Even at the things you think don’t look pleasant. You might find some very beautiful things to look at. You might hear some too. Or smell some.



Just thoughts

While watching Ragamuffin a thought occurred to me, there were times when he, Rich Mullins, tried to call different people, his family and friends, just to talk and never seemed able to get a hold of anyone. He seemed to catch them wrong. I believe God was waiting for him to turn to Him to talk.

Then another thought came to me, almost everyone today had a “smart” phone. Whether they are talking to someone, texting or surfing the web it seems they have built a wall around themselves. Something that no matter where they turn someone is there. Except God.

An enormous gulf has developed between humanity and God and it is growing more every day that people turn to the web or to their phones.

My happiest moments were spent walking outside and talking with God. Being one with everything around me. Embracing Him as He embraced me. The peace, love and joy cannot be matched by anything really. Sure music can take me there again. But I have no intention of getting a phone to always be plugged in. My computer gets what I will allow it. Sometimes it gets too much.

When is anyone ever quiet? What happened?

Some songs are prayers


Some songs are prayers

Saturday, October 27, 2018

6:06 AM

Some songs are prayers

And some songs are stories of life

Of lives lived

From the birth of stars

To the death of everything

Some songs are prayers

And some are just songs

Random thoughts and random words tossed together

Sometimes carelessly, thoughtlessly,

No beat of a heart

No whisper or prayer

Some songs are prayers that fill our souls

And some songs are stories of life that fill our hearts

And most often that is what a prayer is

Lives lived

The good and the bad

Laughter, love and tears

Heart and soul

Some songs are prayers`

And some songs are stories

But even the careless seeming ones have something in them

Random is seldom random after all

So songs are prayers and stories of our lives

Especially when sung from the heart

Very bad time

Have not been having a very good time lately. Seems Alzheimer’s has made the decision to attack harder now and I really don’t have the resources to fight back anymore. So tired.

Sad thing is, I’m not that old. Only 54. I feel so much older lately. Good thing I have a good speller to help me. Otherwise you wouldn’t be able to read this. I’m sorry, there is so much I want to say, but it just won’t let me.

life by Dallas Sieck


Monday, August 6, 2018
9:00 PM

I have had a full life
Not always happy
But if it had been
I may never have really understood life
Half so well
From a rough beginning
No matter how many times I fell
I got back up
This is what it should be
For everyone
Sometimes it seems a rollercoaster ride
Sometimes it seems heartbreak is all there is
Then suddenly
There is the sun
I never gave up
Never saw the point
I never gave in to others
Never bowed my head
Never shouted back the evil they had
Never saw the point
Life heads only one way
Never goes back
So I may still not completely understand it
But I have lived a wonderful life
Walked in places others still dream of
Heard things others still wish to
Embrace things that many are frightened to
I have had a full life
And when God asks me
To lay down my burden
Take up my heart and hand it to Him
I am more than ready
He has always had my heart
Soon He will have my life

Struggling more

I can’t remember is something I am beginning to hate. Short term is so horrible I can’t keep track of anything. And now I can’t remember much further back either. It’s all spotty. Big holes, blackholes, and emptiness. I keep a photo of you as my picture when I log on to my computer. It is one with you, mom and Aunt Mary. I feel like I am on a raft drifting further and further from the shore and no way to make my way back. Or trapped in a very small craft out in space drifting away from the planet. And sometimes I feel like I am trapped in a house with little in it and most of the doors locked or rooms empty where they are open. And it seems so dim, dark, windows too difficult to see out of and often what little I can see, seems so strange and different I want nothing more than to hide. So I do, I sleep more. It feels safer sometimes. The dreams though are beginning to seem more real than waking. It is so confusing. My memory and writing aren’t the only things I struggle with, I struggle with talking, processing things, following conversations, focusing. Everything is so much more difficult and exhausting.


Life changes and so must we

Writing was so much a part of my life that I started talking the same way I wrote my poetry. When I worked on a book, not of poems but stories, my ideas came out in my speech. Writing was like breathing. I had to do it, I felt, or die. What once took mere moments to compose now takes several minutes, or hours, or even days, if I manage to complete it at all. I feel like I am gasping for air, struggling to breathe, struggling to put together what once was so simple it seemed like child’s play. I feel like I am drowning in all the words that fill my world. It frustrates me because they are there within reach, yet too far, too scattered, to pull them together and make sense out of. They have become nothing more than grouped together letters with no sense of structure, no ideas, just meaningless jumbles of letters.